we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
