Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
