I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize