They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
