And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
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You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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