Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
