yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
