Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
