That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
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I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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