the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
