I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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