Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
