mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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