I want to stick my p in your. b.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
