my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
