I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
