I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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