Porn is love you can see.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
