my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
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Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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