I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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