Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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