I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
