I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
