I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
