Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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