Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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