As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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