She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
it was like eating out sand paper
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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