Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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