I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
