the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Randomize
