So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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