Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
