Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize