And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
and she was petting her beer can
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
