Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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