is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
