therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize