Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize