tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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