put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
