i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
