i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
