Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
