Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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