Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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