But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
