Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
