Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So much rum. So many feels.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
