you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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