those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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