a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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