I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
