He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
