Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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