Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
