when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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