i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
