I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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