yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
bring money and cleavage
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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