you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
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Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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