I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
