real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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