You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
