I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
