I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
