you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
