he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
