Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
