one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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